I'm Back!

As many of you know, I am free, a civilian once again.

I received an Honorable Medical Discharge from the Navy June 23, 2000 due to injuries sustained during training exercises. I broke big-time! Among the diagnoses given are Fibromyalgia (yuck!), Spondylolysis (stress fractures in my spine that won't heal properly), stress fractures in my pelvis, hips,and knees down, and Hypothyroidism. Well, and of course, since my life is screwy once more, I am Depressed. *shrugs* Who wouldn't be? Kind of a "duh!" deal to me.

After being discharged from an 11 month stay in the Navy hospital (plus 2 months in Medical Hold) June 23, as many of you know, D invited me to come for another visit, which I did. Many will remember that I enlisted in the Navy while visiting with D. So I am now coming to you from D's computer in West Virginia. I am feverishly looking for an apartment... somewhere... yadda yadda.

The most *coughs* amusing thing I discovered when I arrived back in West Virginia is that all of the civilian clothing that D had let me store with him were gone. They had vanished! Someone had stoled or thrown away my clothes!!! My shoes too! My expensive down coat. Even my underwear!!! Two BIG duffles full. All the clothes I had in this world, since I hadn't brought my uniforms with me. It was a scary thing. For the first two days here, until I could get some new clothes, I was running around in hospital scrubs. I am glad I had those otherwise this one would have been running around naked!!! I was very upset to have the only clothes I had left on this earth gone. A few of the things I had left there were still there... other than all of my books. This person stole or threw away all of my books too. I hope whoever has my clothes isn't wearing my underwear too! *shudders* Nasty...

The moral of that paragraph...be careful who you trust. I am sure that Wolfsbane will agree with me there. Turn your back and many people will steal you blind. Some actually think that they have the right to take another person's things. When confronted, they make excuses and get upset, because they can't see what they did wrong. *shaking head*

As we all know, what goes around comes around. *nods* And it WILL come around...times 10.

Now with that out of the way... and D knew I was going to be writing that...

So now I am trying to put my life back together once again. I seem to have been doing this a lot the past few years. *g* If my Veterans Administration benefits come though soon, I will be attending college once again. I don't know where... the doctors said I should be living somewhere warm. And since I cannot drive a car (my legs like to go numb), on a bus line. Trust me... you don't WANT me driving.

Once I get settled somewhere and back on my feet, I will be starting legal action against my ex-husband. Many of you had advised me to do this, and the main reason I went into the Navy was to have the stability, protection and resources to be able to get my children back, or at least be able to see them. Many of you know that I have not seen my children since November 1997. I plan on putting a stop to that now. My children deserve THEIR mother, not some other woman my ex makes them call "mommy".

I have made many mistakes in my time. I admit... I am not perfect. I do not believe that I would want to be perfect. When one makes mistakes... one learns. I have learned more than I ever dreamed possible.

Certain subjects are still and will always be very "raw" with me. If I become defensive, please understand... I have been hurt a lot... by many. The one thing I hate most coming from another's mouth or keyboard are the words "I told you so", "I warned you", "If you would only have listened to me", etc... etc... etc. Some things are better left unsaid.

Know that I defend the choices I have made, they were mine to make. Regrets make very cold bedfellows in the middle of lonely, sleepless nights. Regrets haunt you. I regret very little. I blame no one. The experiences I have had, the things I have endured, the Hell... have made me the person I am today. I am a strong, determined, stubborn woman and eventually I will reap some of the good I have sown. In this time, or the next. Because you know... I will be back. *chuckles*


Blessings on your journeys and adventures.
I will be continuing on mine now...
~ Psyche